Elena, my firstborn has turned four, it seems in her case that this is that step from toddlerhood to little girlness. This has been one of the first transitions away from habits of babyness toward those of girlness. This is the first time that she has been leaving things, rather than simply gaining new skills.
I guess the primary change in this transition is that Elena has both stopped sucking her thumb and decided to put away her favorite dog Sam. We recognized that the two were linked and while we didn’t make it a prerequisite, we encouraged her to put away her dog. We didn’t make it a requirement, but we encouraged her to think about this transition to four as the moment when she should stop sucking her thumb. She was toying with us for a while, saying “Mommy – when I’m four, I’ll stop sucking my thumb.” “Oh – well do you want to start trying now?” “No – when I’m four…” But then a week before her birthday – as in preparation she told Marialice, that she was ready to put Sam away. We put him up on the top shelf where she can still see him, and he looks down on her, but she doesn’t have him. She decided he needed a friend, and so another small fur dog we recently got went up there with Sammy. That next day when I got her up – I asked, “did you suck your thumb?” and she said no. I don’t think it was my place to investigate too close – I trusted her. One day when she emerged from the night, she had a big band aid on her thumb. I asked why that was and she said “I didn’t want to suck my thumb and so I pretended there was a boo boo on it ad we covered it up with a band aid.” I think she knew the conflict insider her. She wanted to suck her thumb and yet she wanted not to suck her thumb and so she was trying to find ways to prevent that interior battle.
But she has gone two weeks since we last saw her sucking her thumb. So today, Marialice went with her and picked out some fingernail polish, and tonight they painted Elena’s nails. Such little nails, such delicate colors, so hard to keep them straight and clean while they dried. So much girlness for the soul of a four year old. But such the glorious growing of a daughter, such a celebration of her growing up.
As Elena leaves these things behind we celebrate that which she is becoming. Even now we see a beautiful and smart young girl. As she leaves these things behind we look forward to that which she will be pick up, and though I am quick to think of my loves – books, basketball, music – I think it important to think of the more womanly arts that she will certainly love – beauty – dance – boys… Oh boy…
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